Sparking
by Schilcote
Summary: As a malfunctioning teleporter signals doom at the hands of an extradimensional eldritch being, the Engineer calls for help from beyond the stars. Read Rate, Review, etc...
1. Chapter 1: Sparks Fly

"Hey hardhat!", the Scout yelled. "Sumthin' wrong with the teleporter!"

"Aww hell..." the Engineer muttered. The mission would begin in half an hour. He pulled his wrench out of a belt loop and went to see what the trouble was.

"There's some kinda green sparks comin' off of it!" The Scout was right. The teleporter had shut down when the mission ended, but for some reason it was sparking. Sparking _green_.

"Darn..." the Engineer trailed off. He'd never seen anything like this before. He smacked the teleporter with his wrench. It had no effect. "Well, I ain't never seen it do somethin' like that. Ah suppose we'd better blow it up, them teleporters are dangerous when they ain't workin' right." He switched on his PDA. The teleporter didn't show up as built. "Huh... I guess somethin' must be jammin' the signal. Must not have heard the warning go off..." He carefully picked up the sparking teleporter. He'd have to examine this after the next round. "Mission begins in ten minutes!", the announcer growled through the speakers.

Thousands of lightyears away, in a completely parallel universe, a scientist pores over a computer printout. He doesn't like what he sees. "Computer!" he yelled. The machine lit up a light to show it was listening. "Emergency situation! Put in a call to the Capitol!"

Commander Dalva squinted at the printout. "I'm going to need a new set of eyes in a few years..." he thought. "Second time this century." Ten thousand years was a long time for an organic life form to still be living. "Dee, can you confirm these reports?" "I can. I'd stake my professional reputation on their validity within negligible tolerances." Dee was the Emperor's foremost scientific adviser. A relatively young AI, his advanced core programming making up for his relative lack of experience and growth. "If these numbers mean what you say they mean, we could have the only credible threat to our security in over a thousand years. Besides the Rouges." Dalva couldn't forget the Rouges. One of the Emperor's first acts of office was to order the deportation or execution of around seventy percent of the planet's population. Needless to say, the deported parties weren't very happy at all. It was one of the few decisions he had made that he had publicly stated as a bad one, though he stood by his own reasoning all the same. "Quite correct, commander. If whoever is controlling this energy is hostile we could have a situation on our hands. And you know how power corrupts..."

"Mission ends in ten seconds! Nine... Eight... Seven... Six..." "Intelligence, comin' through!" "Five... Four... Three... Two..." The Scout slammed the RED intel onto the desk just in time. "One... Victory!" "Whohoohoo! I did it!" "Job well done!" the Engineer said, stepping out from behind his sentry gun. He headed to the nearest resupply and through the door to the base's hidden non-combat sections. The strangely sparking teleporter was still on his workbench. The sparking had grown in intensity while the fighting was going on. Engineer grabbed a screwdriver off of a toolbox and hooked up a grounding strap to his mechanical hand. He held the screwdriver near the sparking teleporter. The green sparks didn't arc to the screwdriver as he expected, but continued sparking into the ground. "Must not be real electricity then... bein' green and all..."

*KZRRRRRRNNGGG*

"What the hell!"


	2. Chapter 2: Nightmares

"Gahh!" The engineer dodged the flying creature. He grabbed the Frontier Justice off of a workbench and blasted the apparition until he was sure it was dead. "Damn!"

"Hey, what's all the- Woah, what the hell is that thing?" Scout was poking his head in through the door. Engie sighed and put the shotgun back onto the workbench. "Dunno, it came out of the teleporter. Big mess o' green sparks. Darn near scared me to death..." Scout poked the dead creature with the end of his baseball bat. "Bet Medic would love to have a look at this thing, whatever it is."

"Ja, a fine specimen Herr Engineer ... Vere did you get such an unusual creature?" "Came out of a broken teleporter. Stuff like that happens when those things break down." "Hmm. I have never seen anything like this. Look at these fangs... And this beak. It looks as if it could crack open a human skull! I doubt this creature was the result of any normal being going through ze teleporter." The Medic had seen the results of teleporter accidents. They were more like slimy hamburger meat than living beings. "Well, we'd best get to the mess hall before 'tall gets eaten." "Yeah, a day of cavin' in RED skulls gives ya' an appetite."

Engie had the strangest dream that night. A tall, suited figure with some sort of mask... It floated in the air, on massive red crystalline wings. Something about it was horrible. Something he couldn't quite place, as if it didn't belong, as if it was something that just should not_ be_...

*KZZZRRRKKK*

*BANGBANGBANG*

He woke up with a start, grabbing his shotgun and running to where he had placed the teleporter and his sentry. Sure enough, there was a dead creature not dissimilar to the first lying dead on the ground. If he didn't know better he'd say the sentry was looking quite satisfied with itself, turning itself around and searching for anything that was alive and shouldn't be.

"HEY KNUCKLEHEAD! PANCAKES!" The Scout beat on the bulkhead door leading to the Engineer's workshop with his bat. "Dangit Scout, I'm comin..."

*KZZZRRRKKK*

*beepbeepbeep*

*BANGBANGBANG*

"Another satisfied customer!" Engie thought to himself.

Spy caught up with Engie in the hallway. "So... Ze Scout tells us about zis broken teleporter..." "Yeah..." Scout never could keep his mouth shut for very long. "'t ain't too much of a problem, 's long as the sentry's watchin'. And I know whenever something happens." He tapped his PDA, which displayed among other things the robotic turret's current number of kills logged. "After the mission I think I'm gonna make a few modifications to 'er. Get some better data while they're still alive. Might even be able to tell where they're comin' from." "And what happens if something comes through zat ze sentry cannot handle? An enemy spy perhaps?" Engie hadn't thought of that. "Well, nothin's come through 'sides those lil' crab things... Still. It is inside a building full of functionally-immortal heavily-armed mercenaries. I doubt anything 'll come through that Heavy and Solly can't handle." The Engie chuckled. "Still... eet pays to be safe." The Spy dashed off.


	3. Chapter 3: Deus Ex

"What the _hell_ do you mean '_missing'_?" "Well... he's... gone. We can't find him." "How do you LOSE the emperor of the most powerful government in the known multiverse?" "Uhh... his ship transmitted a distress signal before we... lost it." "What did it say?" "No message, just a signal." "Ughh..." Commander Dalva shook his head. They LOST the EMPEROR. Lost him right before some sort of trans-dimensional anomaly showed up on the planet's sensors. "Did he fire off the wormhole drive?" "That's what we thought. We did detect some serious distortions in local space-time in the area the signal came from. Too much distortion, a properly working holepunch wouldn't cause nearly that much." "Great. So the post important man in the universe, our leader, is stranded in a parallel universe with a broken wormhole drive. Just on the one day we actually need him around." "Well... I don't think he'll be in any trouble..." "Well of course not, I'm not concerned about him. I'm concerned about _us_. He's a combat android built by our ancestors. I don't think he _can_ die."

"So I guess Scout told y'all 'bout the teleporter." Everyone nodded. "Well, it ain't nothin' to worry 'bout. My sentry and I got it all under control." "Yeah, but what about dem' ailens? Maybe there's gonna be some sorta invasion or somethin'?" "Now look, we got nothin' to worry about as long as the sentry stays up. Who wants bacon?"

"Herr Engineer!" "Yeah doc?" "I have analyzed the specimen from ze teleporter. It is not of terrestrial origin. The genetic structure is almost completely foreign to this world. We are dealing with a creature from another world! It is a parasite like I have never seen before. It leaps onto the head of its victim and cracks the skull with its beak, then appears to consume the upper brain and assume control of the victim's body! I must have a live specimen." "Well doc, unless you want to camp by that thing with a tranquilizer dart..." "Ja, I shall do that zen. Bring ze teleporter to my laboratory." "... Allrighty then... though I don't think it's a good idea." "I will keep ze Heavy with me. He has as much firepower as your sentry." "But Doc..." "Herr Engineer, I must have a live specimen for my research! Imagine if we could weaponize these creatures! Think of ze possibilities!" "Doc, you're startin' to sound like some sorta' mad scientist here. Take the damn teleporter, if it means you'll stop bothering me."

"Mister Conhager... Wake up, mister Conhager." The Engineer found himself in a dark room. A spotlight shone in his eyes. "What... Where am I? Who are you?" "To use the cliched expression, I will be the one asking the questions here. I need access to your Universal Constructor." "What?" "The Universal Constructor, mister Conhager. Do not play fool with me." "Ah have no idea what you're-AGHHH" A sudden pain shot through the Engineer's body. "Let's try again, shall we. Where is the Universal Constructor? I know you have such a machine under your base. I have seen it used." The torturer was wearing a smiling plastic mask. Underneath the mask was a green face with reptilian features and thick dark fur around the side of its head. It wore a dark suit, and had large red wing-like things folded at its sides. "Hmm... You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you. Perhaps I should rephrase... Yes... I believe you refer to it as the Respawn system. Invented by your grandfather and completed by your father after his death. Such a limited application of the technology, merely bringing the dead back to life. Hm. Your universe's computer technology doesn't seem to have benefited from this... 'Australium' mineral, otherwise someone would have noticed the potential applications of the Constructor... Respawn system and taken advantage of it. Pity, it would have made my job so much easier if I didn't have to deal with any pitiful organic life forms. Still, I suppose you are much more fun to interrogate. Alright mister Conhager. Or should I say Doctor Conhager, considering your academic achievements. I need access to the computer systems that control your 'Respawn' system." "Ah don't know where they are... Those tunnels extend for miles, and there's no maps." "Yes, those tunnels are still maintained by automated systems. It wouldn't make much sense to make immutable maps of a mutable geography. Hmm. If you do not know where they are I have no further use for you. Goodbye, mister Conhager, and enjoy what little time your world has left."


	4. Chapter 4: RED Flower

"Herr Engineer?" "Ugh... Doc? What happened? An' what's this thing you got strapped to my head?" "You fell unconscious right in the middle of the mess hall, Heavy carried you to the infirmary. This machine is an electroencephalogram, a device that measures brain activity. It just arrived yesterday on the supply truck." Medic scowled at the machine. "You seem to have burned it out somehow." "Ah, sorry doc... How long have I been out?" "Approximately... Six hours." "How's the teleporter?" "Ah, I have captured one of the creatures. I have been studying it while you were unconscious. It appears to be around the intelligence level of a dog. It also seems to be omnivorous. It likes watermelons, I shall have to request a crate of them. I zink I shall name it Mendel." Engineer sat up and got off of the steel slab. "Careful, Herr Engineer..." "I'm alright doc. Say... You didn't see anything weird on that brain monitor while I was out, did you?" "Ehh...," the doctor squinted. "High activity in the secondary visual cortex, low activity in the primary... Similar to REM sleep. I did not pay much attention to it, otherwise I would have noticed ze smoking..." "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Bye doc." Engie picked up the troublesome gizmo and left the doctor to his examination of the ailen.

Engie wandered back to his workshop. "Universal constructor..." he muttered to himself. He knew the respawn system worked by scanning molecular patterns and rearranging atoms to match, fusing the required atoms from compressed hydrogen stored in massive tanks under the complex. It used some sort of Australium catalyst, a rare and powerful mineral that had amazing transmutive properties. Engie pulled a strongbox out from under his cot and pressed his thumb to a dark glass plate on the lid. The box clicked open to reveal several bars of the shining yellow metal and his grandfather's plans for various contraptions, the live-preserving machine, the original Spy disguise kit, an early version of the Australium healing-accelerator device that eventually evolved into the Medigun and the dispenser, and other assorted machines; most importantly the Respawn system.

Engie took the plans over to his workbench and stared at them. He didn't know what he was looking for, if anything. Just looking over the old papers, thinking. The matter transmogrification system could in theory be used to create any sort of object you wished, the problem was finding the right codes to actually form the object you wanted. Engie's grandfather, Radigan Conhager, had spent the last ten years of his life trying to perfect the system that broke down the atomic structure of a person's body at the exact moment of death and then analyzed and repaired any and all damage. Engineer's father, James Conhager, finally finished the design and implemented it at all Builder's League United facilities. Not long afterward, Reliable Excavation and Demolition operatives had built their own duplicates. That was the way it always was, as soon as one side gained any kind of advantage the other side always gained an equal one. An endless war of attrition between the two rival heirs of Zephaniah Mann, Blutarch and Redmond. Each company leader kept alive indefinitely by Radigan Conhager's life-extending machine.

Engie re-hid the documents and went over to the other side of his workshop. The teleporter's sparking had grown in intensity, the sparks were now arcing to almost two feet away.

*KRRRRRZZZRRRRRKKKKK*

A massive, rabbit-like creature suddenly appeared in a shower of green sparks and long electrical arcs. Engie looked on in horror as the beast picked up the level two sentry in one paw and smashed it against the wall. Engineer grabbed his Frontier Justice and unloaded three cartridges of buckshot right into the beast's hairy face. It simply roared and knocked Engie across the room, his ribs and spine cracking against the concrete. It stomped up to Engie as he lie bleeding on the floor, ready to crush him with its mighty paws. He thought he heard a familiar muffled voice, then everything went black...


	5. Chapter 5: Meet The LS Unit

"Mrrnuhurr?" The Pyro poked his head through the door, having heard a noise. "MURNUHUR!", he exclaimed, seeing the dead Texan lying on the floor in front of the crazed beast. "BRRRRRN", he screamed, raising his flamethrower and blasting the giant rabbit with a stream of lit propane. Its fur caught on fire and it began running around the workshop, making a hideous screaming noise. Pyro jumped onto its back, not caring about the flames, and began pummeling the back of its head senselessly until it finally succumbed to the heat and the beating and fell onto its side, dead. "Mrrrrr...", the Pyro said, standing up. He limped over to a dispenser and collapsed against it, watching as the cool blue healing beam repaired his injuries.

Engie walked in. "Well would ya' lookit that. Ah guess we're having rabbit for supper tonight." Pyro shook his head. "Mhrmgr!" he said, pointing to the beast. "Worm gear?" Engie replied, confused. "MURMGR!", Pyro yelled, pointing again to the dead rabbit-beast. Engie shrugged. "Not good eating then?" "Mrrrnuhurrnuh...", Pyro muttered. "Murmgr! Frm irlnd! Srntrnrt!" "Sentient?" Engineer repeated. Pyro nodded. "Oh. Well, I guess we'd better bury it or something. I'll call Heavy."

Engineer left the masked firestarter in his workshop next to the dispenser and set off for the infirmary, where Heavy could usually be found at this time of day. Pyro had always been an odd fellow. He never removed his mask. Neither did the Spy, but a cloth ski mask wasn't quite as invasive as a full fire-retardant NBC suit. Engie always assumed that it was just because his skin was burnt, but he also often knew strange things, like apparently knowing what that beast was. He often came over to the workshop to listen to Engie talk while he worked on his machines.. He seemed to understand most of what Engie said about advanced science, though he didn't say very much.

Engie knocked on the steel door to the infirmary and poked his head in. Heavy and Medic were sitting at a table, playing chess. "You two might want ta' see this, something big came out of the teleporter. Pyro wants to bury it or something." "What sort of thing?", Medic asked standing up. Heavy stood up and followed him. "Big rabbit thing. Killed me, Pyro burned it to death. Poor thing. I'll tell you about it on the way to my workshop."

"Zis...", the Spy said, flicking his cigarette onto the corpse of the dead rabbit, "eez why I did not want zis teleporter to be inside ze base." "It's not like anything happened," Engie replied. "Yes, but what if something even bigger comes through? It could damage the base, knock out the power. Destroy something important. Make the administrator angry." "Ahh, I guess you have a point. Fine, I'll move the teleporter somewhere safer later. Heavy, can you lift this thing?" The Russian grunted and put his arms under the burnt corpse of the rabbit creature. He picked it up with some effort, and began walking out the door. Pyro followed."You had best move zat teleporter out of here before something else-"

*-WHAM*

"- comes through. Merde." A large green pickup truck had just appeared in the middle of the Engineer's workshop. It made a noise that sounded like some sort of combination between a car horn and a large animal groaning. The door opened, and a man in a tuxedo poked his head out.

"... Hi." He looked around. "Uhh... howdy", the Engineer said. "Sorry to appear so suddenly, but we've been having some engine trouble lately." The suited man stepped out of the vehicle, followed by another man in a formal vest and a lady in a similarly formal-looking dress. "I'm Emperor LS 000-001 of Stephinia, and this is my sister 02 and my brother 03." 02 curtsied and 03 made a shallow bow. "Nice place you got here, " 03 said, "looks like a bomb went off." "Heh, pretty much. Big rabbit-thing came in and wrecked the place."

"A big... rabbit... thing? About the size of this truck, with red eyes?" 01 said. "Uhh, yeah. Why, you've seen something like that before?" Engineer asked. "Unfortunately, yes. I suppose it has something to do with that big time-space rift you've got sitting on your workbench there. You should probably get that machine looked at." 01 replied, shutting the door to his vehicle and going over to inspect the teleporter. "Yeah, I dunno why it's doing that. Just started around noon yesterday." 01 scowled in thought. "Huh... Well, I'd hoped I wouldn't have to deal with HIM again so soon." "Just our luck, too." 03 added.


End file.
